Choosing “How” Rather than “What”
What do you long for?
I’ve been thinking about this question for the last few weeks - since the chaos of birthdays and Xmas and New Year have died down. What do I want this year to look like?
Or better yet, what do I want it to feel like?
I want it to feel much less stressful. Calmer. Safer.
I want it to feel a little more spacious. I want to feel like I’m living my life rather than responding to one to-do after another.
I want it to feel more connected and more engaged. I want it to feel more intentional. Like I’m truly in it. That my intention is truly embodied.
And you? What do you long for? How do you want to feel?
I have this sneaking suspicion that most of us have a list that looks somewhat similar to mine*.
Especially after the year we all just had. A year that showed us, over and again, that we are more alike than we are different. And that what we want, and what we need, is much simpler than the story we are sold.
So often in this space I talk about how my making supports me, connects me and ultimately changes me, because I believe that these are the three key functions it plays in my life. And I believe that by thinking about them, and naming them, we can make more conscious choices to shift our making practice to so that it makes our lives that bit more….
It’s important that it is conscious choice, because normally in our day to day, we zoom through life on autopilot. Getting conscious and then getting intentional is key to changing it up.
And so with that in mind I have been thinking about what I need to do to ensure that my making practice supports me more fully, connects me more wholeheartedly and changes me in the way I seek to be changed.
At this time of year many people are making plans about their making. Hashtags like #makenine are doing the rounds of the interweb. But they don’t quite scratch my itch. You see how I want to think about my making is not about what I am going to make but rather how.
How do I want to feel as I am doing the making?
I thought you might like to think about the same (it’s taken me a few weeks of semi-stillness to get there) and maybe to play along and set your making intentions for the year - using the support, connect and change framework to shift up your practice so that it is more nourishing.
intentional Support
So I’ve noticed that my making is feeling draggy, overwhelmed and to-do-ish at the moment. There isn’t much flexibility due to the ridiculously large pile of WIPs I have going on.
Now there are some fundamental brain mechanisms at play here (around overwhelm) that I want to talk about next week on the blog. But as a quick summary - in order for my making to support me in the way I need it to support me then I need to change how it is making me feel. Overwhelmed is not a good feeling and too many WIP lead to overwhelm. So my plan is to fix that problem first.
The whole virtuous-cycle malarkey of making as a well-being practice only works when making feels feels joyful. And the WIPs are sapping the joy. #littlebastards
intentional Connection
I use my making to connect me to myself, my family, my community, and my values in the everyday. And so I thought I would think about intentions around each one.
Myself - this is to keep trying to do #10minofmaking even on days when it is hard. It is the space where I can check in on where I am at.
Family - I have a ton of rituals around making and the kids relating to birthdays and winter and clothing - but I’ve let a few things slide last year due to the blah, so I want to get back on track and make sure I am hitting the making milestones. For example one kid missed getting his birthday sweater and has mentioned it about 50,000,000,000 times. I know my making makes them feel seen and loved and so I guess I’m just recommitting to the basics of birthdays and other important stuff.
Community - I have a few giving projects in the works to do with making - the first of which I hope to launch soon.
Values - This is the big one. How is my making meeting (or not) my values. I think the biggest one here is in terms of how much I have and how much I don’t need. This will always be a struggle and so I guess I’m committing here to keep asking myself the big beautiful questions of “is my making practice an embodiment of my values?” Because when it is, my making is truly nourishing. When it is not, I know it - and that sucks the fun out of it. It’s fun to live your values, yes?
intentional Change
The change I seek to make this year is all around stepping up, and in, to the life I want to live. I want to do less numbing craft, and more supportive and connecting intentional craft. Therefore these intentions in and of themselves are the change I seek to make.
But the other thing I want to do is to work on finishing. I want to finish things that are hard rather than avoiding, ignoring and procrastinating like a non-champion. I want to use my making practice to practice this life-critical skill. I wish I had this sorted by 46 but I don’t. #fuckit
I’d love to hear where you are at, and whether this (or something like it) is a useful exercise for you?
Big love to you and yours wherever you are.
Felicia x
* I’d love to hear yours.